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Cast away that which is not meant for you ...

Words which are easier to read than live by. Sometimes cutting strings on the unnecessary or that in which drags you down can have just as many damaging consequences as leaving it in your life.

My weekend was beautiful. Spun a roll of paper towels to decide a direction. Packed some clothes. Got gas. Headed out on an adventure with just a direction. South.

South lead me to the river. Water. Something peaceful and familiar. South also took my mind away from what plagued me at home.

Reshaping your life to take out what brings you the most pain is hard. Questioning why a man that's never met you loves you to pieces is even harder.

So, today, new things cloud my vision while I try and push the old ones away. Actually, the things are not new. They are familiar and what I need.

Texas is on my mind. How do I get there? How long to stay? Will he be able to spend the night in a hotel with me? What will his son think of me? Will he even want me to meet his kid at all? Will we share an intimate evening? Will he even kiss me? Will we go on a date? Will he hold my hand? Will he wipe my tears? Will he free my soul? Will he tell me that he loves me?

To be continued ...

Today I opened a flood tunnel
Today I let my heart bleed
Today hasn't even started, but for me, it's been long enough

I crawled out of bed to go sit in my dark bathroom and cry
I can't change the miles between us
But I'm glad you exist in my world again

I wasn't lying when I said I was proud of the person you had become
You really do blow my mind
This world is just a place, mostly imaginary
But it brought us together

I guess what I'm trying to say, not all so well
Is that I'm 1000 percent plus in love with you
Most may say those words are used all too loosely
But they aren't for us
Six or so years of no communication couldn't shake us
Neither can this

Just remember how I feel
How those first words after so long hit your heart
Remember I love you no matter what
And please don't hate me for not being there

I wanna belong to you
And I hope you want me as well

I love you, J.

COMMENTS

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MorningStarAldan
09:56 Jun 20 2020

Omg Demi so fricken beautiful! Thanks gurl you're making me cry:p Definite soul tears with this heart brush. I can totally feel this♡

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